return my video game
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize