i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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