she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
