how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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