There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
