i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize