You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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