He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
