My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
