I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
