If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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