Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize