After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
