That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
