do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
