Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
