Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
