why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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