the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
