Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
