So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
