im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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