I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
