There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
