exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
