Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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