the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize