you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
