I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize