have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
