I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My boob is missing a layer of skin
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
