And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A bitchslap is in order.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
