please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
