think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
