ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
