For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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