is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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