new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
