I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
