My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
