You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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