im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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