so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize