the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
