my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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