1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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