I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
