dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
