That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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