____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk is not a location!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize