You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
