I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
