I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
