You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
