are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
