fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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