You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
