And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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