I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize