I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if only i could text you this smell
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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