I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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