Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
