How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MIDGETS
????
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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